You Thought You Couldn't Do It...

Today CCAA announced some clarifications to their Special Focus program. Since these children in our Hope Journey program are Special Focus children, the changes apply here and may be important for your decision to adopt.

CCAA decided that families who have completed their adoption registration within the last 12 months would be allowed to submit a copy of their old dossier (along with an updated home study and USCIS approval) to adopt a Special Focus child. That saves a whole lot of money on document fees, authentication, etc...so perhaps adopting a Special Focus child is in reach for more families than we thought? Does this option allow you to consider adopting again?

You may also remember that families adopting a Special Focus child are allowed to adopt two children at once, as long as one of them is a Special Focus child. Perhaps the child you're currently in process for needs a brother?

Another option is to leave your healthy infant dossier logged in with CCAA and pursue a special focus child without losing your login date.

If any of these changes allows you to consider adoption and you are interested in any of these children, please contact me right away: marcisk@asiadopt.org

Let's Start with Victories

Let's start today off good with our victories for these children! We have families for Jimmy, Joel, Anna, Chrissy, Mark, Clive, Quentin, Dani, Lily, Jack, Sam, Chance and Wade! Let's celebrate for these kids! Especially for Shelby, who is already home with her family!


We have also raised $350 for the Santa Stops in China program so far, which is not too shabby :-) I believe there is a bit more coming, as reported from families. These are both victories to be celebrated! Especially the families that have found their children! Their lives will be changed forever in immeasurable ways.


Now lets talk about those kids that don't have families yet. I hear stories of older boys, especially, who dreamed of a family and then aged out of the possibility. These boys are smart and engaging with unlimited potential, but lost their dream of a family. I've met the kids I'm advocating for here. These kids also have that kind of potential. They just need a family to commit to them and help them reach it! As an orphan in China, they won't have much opportunity. They are considered bad luck. No child should be considered bad luck! Each child should be treasured for who they are! Each child has the potential to change the lives of their family members in positive ways! They will teach you a thing or two:-)

Let's take Harley for instance: he is such a sweet boy who has led a difficult life because he attempted to integrate into public school and was teased. We all know what it's like to be treated unfairly by others, but then to have no one to come home to and share the pain with, to comfort you, or help you through it--now that is truly unfair! Surely someone would like a sweet, sensitive boy to be part of their family?









Let's take Shawn: he has a special need that may never effect him in his life, or it could--it's hard to say. Up until now, he has been a healthy, intelligent, scruptious little boy! Everyone loves him. He has a slightly increased chance of something changing his life and he will need help and support through that. That's something a family could give him. Any child, biological or adopted, healthy or special needs faces the risk of life--that something could happen and change their life forever. No one wants to think about those things, or much less experience them, but it happens.





I know that many of you are reaching out and trying to help these children any way that you can. I've heard from families who have heard from you--so thank you for trying to help! Each of your attempts could be the very key to changing that child's life. That's what we need to do--change each child's life one at a time.

Whimsical Warner

Warner seems like a very sweet 9 year old boy whose special need from what I can tell has been corrected. He is in second grade and his favorite subjects are PE and art. He likes to read English story books for fun! He wants to be adopted and feels ok about going to America. He is happy and smiles frequently. He had a whimsical outfit for his performance, with CD's hanging from his belt! How clever! His teachers describe him as expressive and clever.You can tell by his drawing that he has a positive outlook. Could you be the family for Warner? His file is available for review if you would like to consider him.

Other children that have not found families yet are:

Harley

Michael

Heather

Lilah

Shawn

Peter

Bo

Thomas

Henry

Gene

Cherry

CJ

Harold

Edward

Gavin

Kerry and

Fabian

Lisa

Please see previous posts or our ASIA website for more information about each of these children. Contact me if you would like to see their files: marcisk@asiadopt.org Families have 6 months from pre-approval to get their dossier in, so it is not necessary to have a home study completed to view a file!

Macy and Thomas

Let's talk about Thomas now that you know about Macy's special need. Thomas has had a repair and is waiting for a family like Eva Corbeau's who will love him unconditionally and accept him for who he is. He is Thomas, because he seems to be all boy. Thomas wants to drive a big red car when he grows up. He likes to be funny and active. He is bright, an extrovert and is always eager for an adventure. His favorite subjects in school are Chinese and art. Thomas is a very special boy--he was one of two children chosen to speak in front of all of the CCAA officials (and reporters) at the camp. He wants a family of his very own. He will see his good friends, Jimmy and Mark get adopted (Yay!!!!! They have families!!!) and now we need to find Thomas his own family. Out of the kids in the Lion dance, the only ones without families at this point are Thomas, Peter and Cherry! Where will their red threads lead them? These kids need families ready to adopt! Now is the time. The economy may not be good, but interest rates are low and it is the season of giving! We have already gotten donations for the Santa Stops in China campaign and will help these children have a Merry Christmas!

Welcoming the Unknown, Part II

With this letter, we want to introduce you to our new child, and to share this chapter in the story of our family. We ask for your open heart, and offer you our honesty, humility and commitment to walking the path laid out before us. You may have held vigil with us through the long wait for Liza and celebrated with us when we finally held her in our arms four years ago. Perhaps you learned three years later that we were working on another adoption, in process to bring home Ling Jun.

We saw his face, read a few sentences about him and felt irrefutably called to claim this child. Just 1 month younger than Liza, living in a village on the Chinese side of the Vietnam border, he was 3 then. We imagined he'd be 4 by the time we met. We spent the months waiting for Ling Jun doing lots of things that most expecting parents do. We bought small clothes, we moved house, we worried, we prayed, and we prepared Liza to share her position at the center of the universe. We did things that most expecting parents don't do. We got fingerprinted twice, we completed stacks of paperwork for local, state, and 2 national governments, and we read up on the medical condition that defined this as a "special needs" adoption. Ling Jun has an intersex condition called partial androgen insensitivity syndrome. We didn't have a lot of specific information to work with about how this manifested for him. But our research revealed a broad range of possible physical and psychological outcomes. We heard from several specialists that children born with Ling Jun's condition sometimes identify as girls even when raised as boys, and vice versa. We couldn't know what lay ahead for Ling Jun, but we knew that the critical question for us was about acceptance.

With the loving support of our families, we adopted Ling Jun on last spring. We gave him the new name David.
Our first weeks together were packed with learning at light speed. Even In the midst of terrible grief at the loss of his foster family, and immersed in a language that couldn't have sounded more foreign to him, David revealed more of himself with every passing day. Very quickly we understood that David was not the son we expected, but another daughter. In every way she could, this child declared herself.

She challenged us point blank to enact the total acceptance we'd considered deeply, hypothetically – nearly a year prior. Some of the first ground she held in asserting who she is, was the rejection of her names. Within a few weeks of arriving home, Ling Jun/David fiercely, furiously rejected both names. She would pound her chest and shout "wo shi mei mei (pron. MAY may)!” In English, "I'm little sister. Call me little sister.” And so for more than a month, she was only "Mei Mei." All the while we called her Mei Mei and still used male pronouns, she was wearing dresses, playing mostly with dolls, and asking daily when her hair would be long. As our communication with each other became more nuanced, we understood more of what Mei Mei wanted to share. In a conversation just a few months after arriving home, we were convinced that she knows exactly who she is and what she was asking of us. Without reservation, we trust Mei Mei and we trust our creator. We trust that Mei Mei is who she reveals to us day by day, and we trust that god made her exactly as she is meant to be. Not wanting the whole world to call her "little sister" forever, we were eager to find a name that fit. We started tossing out girl names with the sound "may" in them every time we thought of one. She rejected all of them out of hand for weeks until we hit "Macy." By bedtime that day, she was again pounding her chest and insisting, only smiling now. "I'm Macy!" she shouted, running through the house. She is Macy. And she is our daughter. We are blessed beyond measure with a circle of supportive family and friends. We are overcome with gratitude that Macy is clear about who she is at this tender age. She began preschool in September, introducing herself as Macy to kids she'll graduate from high school with. What does our family need? We need what every family needs. We need acceptance. We need an appreciation that most of our daily struggles are universal and some are unique. We need for everyone who is trusted with this information to hold it in loving confidence for Macy. She will walk this path in some ways alone. But we need a legion of loved ones to be at arm's length, each offering their own light.
For anyone who hasn't followed the story of Ling Jun's adoption, none of what we've explained here may ever need to be shared. But we know that many followed along and must now make this transition with us. If you wonder how to talk to your kids, we've said something like this: when a baby is born, people see the body and know that that child is a boy or a girl - and they are! But every once in a while someone is born whose body just doesn't match who they are inside. It's what's in a person's heart and spirit is that makes them who they are. So for those few people, we sometimes don't know that they're really a boy or a girl until they get big enough to tell us.

Welcoming the Unknown

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month we have a very special writing from one of ASIA's wonderful volunteers about a very personal voyage with their child's special needs. ASIA has a couple of kids with this special need on our Hope Journey waiting child list Below is the first installment of this story. You won't want to miss it. Please check back for the rest tomorrow:

Welcoming the Unknown
by Eva Corbeau

We adopted both of our children from China. Our first daughter joined our family as a baby, with no known special needs. It was pretty much the fairytale adoption experience. Liza was strong and healthy. She was developmentally ahead of the curve and had clearly been cherished by her foster family. She grieved through the transition, but grew more centered day by day. At nearly 5, she asks increasingly specific and thoughtful questions about her first family and all that she experienced before she came to us. She is confident, securely attached, loving and thriving.

When she was 3 we started again. We had found the file of a little guy just a few weeks younger than Liza. His listing named “ambiguous genitalia” as his special need. Looking the unknowable in the face, we dove devotedly into our homework. Information gathering, opinion weighing, other-parent-seeking, adoption-style homework. Ling Jun's file didn't include a diagnosis, just a vague description, a single genital photo, and the result of a DNA test. We knew that his body didn't look like a typical boy or girl body, and that he had normal XY (male) DNA. We consulted with a handful of specialists. Some didn't offer much insight at all, some described potential surgery and hormone therapy in great detail, and a couple told us this: sometimes conditions that cause such ambiguity in the body also affect the identity. Basically, whatever caused our son's body to develop differently from other boys' bodies might also have caused his brain to develop differently from other boys' brains. He might feel in his heart, soul and brain like he's a she.

We pondered all of it. We imagined what challenges hormones and surgery and elementary school bathrooms might present. We wondered if we were up to the task of walking him through that. It seemed like a distant and unlikely possibility that we might have a son who felt like a daughter, but we talked about that too. We read books about the experiences of intersex people. (The term “intersex” to describe people whose bodies don't present as clearly male or female is used primarily by such people themselves. Recently in medical language, “Disorders of Sexual Development” or DSD has come into use to describe any number of conditions causing such differences. It is important to understand that there are many causes for external and internal sexual differences. Intersex and DSD are not diagnostic, but descriptive.)

We went through with the adoption and brought our son home, only to discover that the distant, unlikely possibility was in fact, our story. What follows is the letter we wrote to properly introduce our new daughter to hundreds of friends and family members set to welcome our son.

Among the things that keep us up at night, the protection of our children's story is near the top of the list. But we're sharing here for this reason: When we found ourselves with a 4-year-old making a gender transition, we went online to look for support. We found none in the adoptive community. That's not to say that there aren't wonderfully supportive people out there. Of course there are. But where we found mention of the special need, we found very little that was meaningful to us. More and more we see children with “ambiguous genitalia” showing up on special needs lists. And more and more we feel compelled to help families prepare. Our experience may not be the most common, but it would surely be the most challenging for some. And I'm here to share both that it happens and that it's ok.

Every child deserves to be unconditionally welcomed. Potential parents must understand and embrace all that that might mean.

Files Extended!!!!!!!!!!

I am thrilled to report, especially during National Adoption Awareness Month, that ASIA has been granted an extension on the amount of time we have to place these Hope Journey children!!!! We have all of their files and will be continuing to advocate for them to try to find each and every child a loving family. Meanwhile, we also continue our Santa Stops in China campaign in order to give them a wonderful Christmas before their families can get there to celebrate with them.

I've had touching emails from families posting about particular children that have touched their heart on their blogs--thank you! Please continue to post, talk, and spread the word about these kids anywhere and everywhere you can think of. Take any of my blog posts and spread them around. These children deserve families and I'm going to keep working until we find them! Read the post in honor of National Adoption Awareness Month on this blog and see if that could be your family or one you know? Julia was a child completely meant for that family, as they were the very first family to look at her file! We have many children who who are meant for a family that has not found them yet. Are you the family they are waiting for? CJ, Edward, Gene, Harold, Heather, Thomas, Henry, Bo, Peter, Warner, Fabian and Parker may all have a similar story--maybe they are just waiting for you?

marcisk@asiadopt.org for more information

In Honor of National Adoption Awareness Month

November is National Adoption Awareness Month!!! In honor of that, I received a beautifully written story about older child adoption from a family that adopted from our first Hope Journey program that I would like to share with you...go get your tissues:

I clearly remember a number of years ago, many years now, when my husband and I first began to see news reports that announced that the People's Republic of China had opened its doors to Americans who wanted to adopt orphaned Chinese children. The children were mostly girls, and soon they began to appear in the large metropolitan area where we live. We saw Caucasian couples like ourselves with their Chinese daughters in grocery stores, gymnastics classes, parks, playgrounds. People we knew and were friends with adopted Chinese girls. We began to have a community of friends with adopted Chinese daughters.

Rick and I were fascinated by those adoptions. We collected adoption stories and shared them with each other in the evenings when our children were in bed. I have an adopted younger brother, so I already had a very positive attitude about adoption in general, and Rick was attracted to the happiness and joy that the newly formed adoptive families seemed to exude. We wondered about pursuing such an adoption ourselves and began to talk to other families about the rules and regulations regarding Chinese adoptions. The reports we heard were discouraging. Some told us the process was impossibly expensive. Others told us that the disparity in our ages was too large, or that my husband was too old to be considered as a candidate for a Chinese adoption. Several couples pointed out to us that there were limits to how many biological children a couple could have and still be considered for adoption. We already had five children at that time, and it seemed like we were well over the biological child limit at that point. Therefore, we shelved the idea of adopting from China, and each time we felt the yearning for another child, we had one ourselves until we had a bustling family of thirteen children, seven boys and six girls, in our modest suburban home.

It was at that point, when we already had a very large family, that we really got serious about adoption. As experienced, mature parents, we felt that we had a lot to offer to a child who might be in difficult circumstances, might not fit the criteria for the standard healthy-infant adoption and might need the support and experience that the parents of thirteen children could give. We did our own research and found the agency A.S.I.A., far away from our own state of Illinois, but willing to work with us on a waiting child adoption. We learned that because of my husband's age, the CCAA would only consider placing a child ten years old or older with us. We felt comfortable with that. My husband and I had had a lot of infants; we did not have the overwhelming desire to hold a tiny baby in our arms again. We asked for the file of a ten year old girl on A.S.I.A.'s waiting child list, a girl with a cleft palette, who needed a home.

Instead, we received a note from Marci at A.S.I.A. telling us that that particular child's file was with another family and asking us to look at a file for a girl called "Julia." I opened the file and began to read. Julia was thirteen years old. She had less than one year before she would turn fourteen and become unadoptable in China. If she was not adopted, her future in China would be extremely limited due to her status as an orphan. She was extroverted, sociable and friendly. She got along well with others and was well-liked. The file said that Julia was a slow learner and needed time at night to study hard to catch up to her classmates each day. My husband and I talked about Julia. She was older than the child of ten that we had hoped to adopt. I was concerned that we would have only four short years with her before she was eighteen years old and became a legal adult, maybe going off to college or off to live away from us on her own. Still, the more we talked about Julia, the more convinced we became that we should attempt to adopt her, that time was running out to find a family for her and that she would need mature, experienced parents to take on the task of adopting a child of her age. We asked A.S.I.A. to apply to the CCAA on our behalf for approval in adopting Julia. Three weeks later we received that pre-approval, and our adoption race was on. We had only a short time to make it to China to adopt Julia before her fourteenth birthday.

We did make our deadline, just barely, and today, Julia has been part of our family for three months. Having watched my parents and many friends adopt infants, I would have to say that adopting an older child presents very different challenges than adopting a baby or a toddler. I do think that in certain ways it is harder. The two main challenges that our family has faced so far have been Julia's grieving and the challenge of integrating a child with an established cultural identity into our suburban American culture. Julia's grieving upon arriving in the United States was heart wrenching. She had bouts of crying that made me sob with her, times she was inconsolable over the loss of her friends, those who were adopted and moved away before her, those who were leaving for their adoptive homes after her and those who simply never were adopted and had "aged out" of the adoption system. In addition to grieving those losses, our daughter struggled to fit into American culture. She was extremely frustrated when she had so much to say and so few people around her could understand her. We had to lean heavily on Chinese friends for support and translating help. Julia was initially frightened and revolted by the many different colors of people around her, those with very light skin and light eyes being the most horrifying to her. She was repulsed by some of my biological children's curly hair and light colored eyes and made comments that hurt their feelings. She was overwhelmed by the odd taste of American food, and even though we cooked Chinese with all our energy, it just wasn't the same as the food at home in China. The early weeks of being at home were difficult and exhausting. We all had to work hard at integrating our new daughter into our family and our community. My husband and I and Julia had to work the hardest.

And now? What a huge difference three months can make! Julia is speaking a lot of English. Recently she told a neighbor, very proudly, "I have a lotta lotta English now!" We can talk to each other, and that makes everything so much easier. She has met many friends at school and at the Chinese church that she attends every Sunday with my husband and second oldest daughter. At Chinese church, she can relax and speak Cantonese with her ever-increasing group of friends. Julia is always one of the last kids to leave church on Sunday because she feels so happy to be around other Chinese people like herself. Julia also loves the public junior high that she attends. She likes the kids, the work, everything except the noisy lunchroom. At school, she speaks English with her friends, and sometimes it is a struggle to communicate, but she perseveres and is well-liked and popular with her peers. Interestingly enough, there seems to be no trace of the learning difficulties mentioned in her file. She learns at least as easily as the average child, maybe more easily. The "slow learner" label in her file remains a mystery to us. Our Chinese daughter is slowly getting used to people of different colors and races. Although she still prefers her own Chinese looks, she can now be around people with light coloring without feeling horrified. She is eating a huge variety of foods, even Italian food, which many of our Chinese friends told us Julia would never learn to like.

Every day we are learning more about our daughter, and she is learning more about us. She is learning to love and trust the family that worked so hard to adopt her. She is learning that when we tell her something, it is the truth. She is learning that we are with her for good; no matter what happens, we're not going to leave her. We are working hard to show our daughter that we love all of her, the Chinese part, the new American part, the weak and strong parts. We are showing her that we respect and admire her culture and asking her to respect and admire our culture in return. Each day we make strides, all of us, in positive directions. We are growing together as a family. Some days are easy, and some days are not easy, but every day we are a real family with common values, beliefs and goals.

Our biological children love Julia and admire her for her quick wit, her vivacity and the exuberance she brings to any fun activity. My husband and I love Julia because.... she is Julia. She is our daughter, born in an unknown location in China, raised in Guangzhou and carefully transplanted to to Illinois at age fourteen. She is a Chinese child. She is an American citizen. She is the child that we rushed and worked and labored to adopt. She is our dream come true. She is our daughter.

The Joy in a Child's Eyes

Have you ever seen the joy in a child's eyes when they wake up on Christmas Day or on their birthday to some tempting wrapped gifts just for them? The love and care is shown through the delicate wrapping of the gifts and the thought that goes into choosing just the right gift. That joy upon opening the gift is what we're hoping to give these children living in the orphanage who have very few posessions that they can call their own. So on this Halloween weekend, we ask you to take a moment and donate just a few dollars (skip a fancy coffee or a dinner out) and give these children like Cherry, CJ, Edward and Thomas a moment of joy in opening some gifts prepared just for them from people who care. If you're part of a community, church or if you're a teacher, make it a project to bring smiles to the faces of these children who all deserve families. Better yet, if you can give them the gift of family, contact me!!!! marcisk@asiadopt.org

Santa Stops in China

Sometimes I lay in bed late at night thinking about these kids and how we can help them. Some families can probably relate to the late night ponderings about your child during the adoption process. In any case, I came up with the idea in the title of this post.

ASIA is collecting money to send Christmas gifts to the children in our Hope Journey program. Very few of them are getting packages from families coming to get them, so we thought it might be nice if they felt the love from afar. Many of you have written to me expressing your heart for these children and that you wish you could help. Well now you can! We are collecting money to buy Christmas gifts for the children in our Hope Journey program. They won't be anything huge, and if we get enough we hope to send some candy or something extra for the rest of the kiddos and/or staff there. We want to send them something from the caring people that are in this community trying to help them to let them know that they are loved and are not going unnoticed. If you want to send a note or card with your gift, we will deliver that as well. They have an American English teacher there, so it can be read to them during class. Our goal is for the children to feel the love. Whether it's from Santa Claus, ASIA, or the adoption community, there are truly people that care about them. Let's show them! You can send a check to ASIA, donate by calling with a credit card to contribute to the cause. Just make sure to note that it's for the Santa Stops in China Campaign. Let's help these kids feel the love! Let's get Santa to Stop in China!!!!

Please Meet.....

I feel that it's very important for families to be completely aware of, and prepared for, their child's special needs. However, I've taken the opportunity on this blog to introduce you to children, not special needs. Sometimes the name of a special need can scare people away, when in reality, it may not be that hard to handle. After all, if you had a child with sequelea of intracranial hemmorhage or hydrocephalus, or a cleft, or really anything, most of us would do whatever it is we have to do to get our child the very best care. The same goes for a child that you are adopting and that you're completely committed to with your whole heart and body.



The children that I'm about to introduce you to do not have scary special needs. What seems to scare people away from them is that they are boys and they are not infants. Even if you weren't previously considering a boy or an older child, please read on and see if you have room in your hearts for a boy, or if you know someone who might.



My name is Edward. I like to draw and I drew this picture of a family for you. Hopefully I will have a family like this some day. I am in kindergarten and I have a best friend, but I still want to be adopted and I'm anxious to have a family of my own. I'm strong and confident in martial arts! I would like to show you! I like to do housework and help my nannies. I'm good at pouring tea. Mommy, Daddy, please come and get me soon!

My file is available for review--please take a chance! marcisk@asiadopt.org

LOVE

This is the very first child to come home from our second Hope Journey program! They just came home last month and the family is doing wonderfully! Can't you just see the love in this photo? The family wanted me to share their joy so that others might be led to these children. So here's what they had to say:

"It is like we have all been together forever. She is so loving, outgoing, and such a happy little girl. When we go to pick up her sister and brother, everyone runs to see her, not just the kids, the office employees also... She sleeps great, she eats great,she rides in her car seat great,she loves to brush her teeth, she goes potty and wants to wash her hands right after, she blows kisses to everyone, she understands very well when we talk to her. She is AMAZING!!!! I have been following your blog and my heart goes out to all those children who have not been adopted yet. I don't know if you can share this or not, but the orphanage these children are from is wonderful, they have their own doctors. I think that is huge, especially since they have special needs, you know they have been well taken care of . [Our daughter's] special need has been very well taken care of. I tell everyone about your agency, I only wish I could lead someone to you and these children. I thank you for everything you did for us, I know without a doubt that God created her for us!"

All of these kids were born for a reason. They have some good to do in this world. Let's help them find it!

Mommy, Daddy, where are you?

Mommy, Daddy, I need you to find me and come and get me. I'm lost! These ladies came to the orphanage where I stay to learn about me and the other kids to find us families. It was fun--we got to play games and do some performances for them. We learned about adoption. Some of the kids have already gone to their families... why am I still here? The nannies here like me, but I have to live on a separate floor from the other kids because of my special need. No one will eat with me or wants to be around me. Kids make fun of me. I know you're out there somewhere, but why haven't you found me yet? I'm a good boy! I deserve a Mommy and Daddy to love me, to take care of me, to help me with my school work, to tuck me in at night, to show me how to throw a football, ride a bike or fly a kite. I want to go camping, to run a marathon, play basketball like Yao Ming, or build a soap box car. I may even want to try out dancing or singing in a choir. Can you teach me to swim? Can you wrestle with me and give me lots of hugs? All of the girls are going to families. I'm not a girl, but I can be sweet and cuddly, too. Maybe I could even let you paint my nails? Why are there so many boys left here? Please just tell me what to do so I can be adopted!

Creating Families

I received two very happy emails today (those just make my day!) from families who are settling in with their children from our Hope Journey programs. One was from a family who is the very first to arrive home with a child from our Hope Journey 2 program and they are doing wonderfully! Another was from a family who adopted a little girl from our first Hope Journey program and she gave me permission to share some of her thoughts with you:

"Frankly, before we met Rhianna, I read so much and worked myself up for every worst case scenario possible. I took everyone's advice and "expected the worst." I fully expected our adoption to be the hardest thing of my life for the next 2 years at the very least. And yet I still wanted Rhianna. But I think because I was geared up for a rough, rough time, every thing that really did happen was so much better. Before meeting Rhianna, I never let myself "hope for the best" - I just didn't dare. That sounds bad because I like to think overall I'm a positive person. But in hindsight, I really am glad I expected it to be so much worse than it was. We have had some challenges, but nothing like I had expected. The first month was the hardest for me - probably a combination of fatigue, and the life change for both me and Rhianna. But the joys have far-outweighed anything hard....




I check the ASIA blog about once a week and I see Marci advocating so hard for those sweet kids. I wish I could tell everyone how much joy our Rhianna has brought into our family. It's not always easy - but then our bio boys aren't always easy and I'm not sure it's any harder - just different. I don't know if adoption is for everyone, but it certainly has been for us. We cannot imagine our lives without our little girl."
 
I think in the adoption world, you just have to believe in the red thread. I have to say that recently I have heard from so many happy families whose children are adjusting so beautifully. I thought along the same lines as the person quoted above and have been pleasantly surprised. I firmly believe in preparing for the worst and hoping for the best...these Hope Journey programs have been an incredible surprise with the numbers of successful older child and special needs adoptions!

Fang the Pig

When we traveled to meet all the great kids in the Hope’s Journey 2 program last spring, we brought with us a children’s coloring book about a little pig named Fang. In the story, little Fang has a wide pink nose, big pointy ears, a curly tail, but no Mommy or Daddy. Her one true wish is to be adopted. One day, the farmer tells her that they have a family for her. Her new Mommy and Daddy are sheep! As she travels with her new parents to their home on the far side of the great forest, she uses her individual skills to help them travel safely – her wide nose to sniff out yummy food, her big ears to avoid danger and her curly tail to bounce on the back of her dad when crossing a river. When the family finally arrives at their new home, Fang spends the rest of her happy life being loved for all of her unique strengths and talents.
We developed the coloring book as a way to start a discussion with the kids at the orphanage about the initial experience of being adopted. However, I think it also represents the true desire of each of the children--to have a Mommy and Daddy and to be loved for who they are.  What I've also heard from families who have come home with children from the Hope Journey programs is that this indeed seems to be true! The greatest wish of every one of these  families and children is to be a part of a loving, nurturing family. Whether parent or child, they want to experience that unconditional love that develops between parents and children.

Any child, biological or adopted can have special needs. Those that thrive are recognized as individuals with strengths and talents, not just special needs.

And while I am thrilled that we have been able to find families for 11 out of 35 of these kids, we need more families before we have to send the remaining files back to China. If you have been considering adopting a child from our Hope’s Journey 2 program, please call or e-mail me today before time runs out. If you know of someone who might be thinking about adopting, have them call or e-mail me today. I can't rest soundly until we make the wishes of these children come true! You don't have to be a perfect parent to adopt--you just have to be willing to go the extra mile!

There's Something About Cherry...

I like good news and I hope that the inquiries I've gotten today about Cherry will lead to some good news. It seems to me that she does tug at the hearts of others aside from me, which brings me hope. Some days I need some hope, so thank you!

It's time to drum up a little hope for some other children, too. How about CJ or Harold? There's a great video that I may have even posted previously that shows both Harold and Quentin smiling and having a good time. It was during their free time playing with the beach balls we gave them. Harold is so shy, it made me so happy to see a smile on his face! He came out of his shell a little with the help of the beach balls:-) It's amazing what a little play and fun can do for a child! It's so much easier to establish a connection with a child if you can get down to their level. My daughter loves it when I act like an idiot! The kids at the Hope Journey camp had so much fun learning the hula and the limbo from me, even though I had no idea what I was doing. I was just being goofy! I swear by goofiness:-) If you're worried about connecting with a child, even an older child, just be goofy--laughter can help create a bridge.

I've also received a lot of inquiries about adopting two children at once or within a year. It seems that there's some confusion about how to do that using one single dossier. Families who wish to use one dossier to adopt two children must submit pre-approvals for both children before traveling for the first child. If that is done, than they are allowed to use a copy of the first dossier instead of creating a new one. So if you would like to consider adopting any of these children, we do allow these types of adoptions on a case by case basis. Wouldn't it be neat if you could have a new little goblin or witch or caterpillar (my daughter's costume) come this time next year?

On another note, if you think you don't qualify to adopt one of these children, email me anyway! We may be able to help you. There are so many children, like CJ, who have had little to no interest. We may be able to make a persuasive argument to help you bring that child into your family and lives. Time is running thin, so contact me right away and please, please, please help me spread the word about these deserving children.

My Heart is Crying

There are certain children that I met at the Hope Journey camp who I felt really need a family more than others. Some are doing fine in the excellent institution that is Bao an, even though it's not a family. Of course I want all of the children to have families! But it's for the children that truly ache for a family more than anything that my heart cries as we face sending back files. I feel as though I've failed those children. Cherry is one of those children. As soon as I heard her story, I knew she needed a family to prove to her that love is forever. Mark spoke to my heart, too. He is quite loved at the institution, but this little boy has so much potential and could have such an amazing life if given the opportunities that he won't have in China. Quentin is also one of those children who you can tell could be something great if given the opportunities that he won't have as an orphan. CJ is a young little boy who has talent and love in his heart and yearns for a family. In his interview he said "I am a good boy, I can be adopted." But as of yet, we have failed to find him a family. My heart cries for him because no boy should have to feel like he is not good enough to bed adopted. Harley is a sweet and sensitive boy who has the misfortune of being teased by others. I know that given the opportunity to have a family with unconditional love, he would blossom and thrive. Kerry is an adorable, healthy boy who is bright and thoughtful. He wants to be adopted and would no doubt thrive if given the opportunities that family provides. All of the children except one told us that they wanted to be adopted and I hope for their sake that they all will be some day.

My heart cries for these children as we face sending their files back. It will be bittersweet for their nannies who told us that they are happy when children find families and get adopted, but they cry because they will miss them as well.

I need your help once more. I have tried everything I can think of to reach out and find families for the children. Am I missing anything? If you can think of anything additional I should try, please send me an email and let me know. I don't want to fail these children. Each and every one of them deserves more! Please see their pasts posts or our password-protected website for more information on each child.
marcisk@asiadopt.org

Help! Before their Files Must Be Returned!

The Hope Journey II program started at the end of April, which means that at the end of October it will have been 6 months of trying to place these children. CCAA gives agencies 6 months to try to place these children before they want us to return the files. I'm hoping they will let us keep these files a little longer and try to help more of these children to find families. So far, we have found families for 10 of the 35 children and I was hoping that many more would have families by now.

So now I get a little desperate and ask for your help. Please help us to find forever families for these children. There are 25 adorable, talented and deserving children left that participated in the camp with the known intention to find them families. They will be seeing their friends get adopted. I feel a heavy weight to not let them down and find families for the remaining children as well. Please talk to anyone you know, post about them in your communities and spread the word far and wide about these children. Please help us avoid sending their files back without families. If you're reading this blog, you likely have a heart for these children. Please spread the word. I met these children so they are not just names and special needs anymore:

I met Mark who has hydrocephalus and is the cutest, smartest and most talented little boy! I just wanted to scoop him up in my arms. He was certainly not affected by his special need, swinging his hips, dancing and spinning to the music.



I also met Jimmy, who is another smart and talented boy with facial paralysis. Sometimes I noticed it, but most of the time he seemed like a regular boy. He is another talented dancer and a close friend of Mark's. He, too, was very confident swinging his hips on stage.


I met Lisa and was amazed that she has cerebral palsy, because she is such a talented, capable and outgoing little girl. It may take her a little longer to learn, but she is determined and that gets her far in life! She was motivated to memorize a poem and recited it by herself for the performance. I watched her throughout the camp and continued to be amazed by her confidence and happy personality. She picked up on things just as quick as all of the other children.


I met Cherry, who is a very smart and sensitive girl and a good artist. Cherry is a proud girl and was in quite a few performances in beautiful costumes. She has lots of friends and I can't tell you how many people I've heard from who have adopted children from Bao an that were good friends with Cherry! It's Cherry's turn--her family must be out there! There is a $1500 grant for Cherry! Cherry's family hasn't found her yet, but many families have developed a heart for her.


I met Peter and it wasn't evident that he was deaf until the interview at the end--he moved to the music quite well! Peter is a magnificent performer and was given a solo in the Lion Dance, which he deserved! He is a happy, confident boy who is very friendly. Peter will likely go far in his life!


I met Quentin, who was outgoing and sweet from the start! He liked to practice his limited English and never missed an opportunity to pose for a photo. Quentin wants a family, and that was evident just from his actions at the camp. He is also multi-talented and a very smart and sensitive boy. He made up and recited a beautiful poem all about spring. He also played an African drum beautifully.


Harold is a shy boy who played the cucurbit flute beautifully! He participated in all of the activities, but was reserved. His cheeks turned bright red when he was given a big hug by Barack Obama's half brother who was there. He is modest, but I think the right family could draw him out of his shell.


Shawn is an orphanage favorite. All of the nannies enjoy taking him home and giving him lots of attention! His special need doesn't affect his daily life and he is adorable and well loved. He is one of the youngest in our group of kids this time. I had no idea he was any different than any other 3 year old! He's quite responsive and knows his body parts and colors and can follow directions. He had a good time with the beach ball!

Harley likes math and Chinese, likes to play piano and wants to be adopted and go to the U.S and is very articulate.
Heather is a very sweet and friendly girl, well behaved and obedient and is learning to talk.
Gene is friendly, happy, well behaved with fabulous musical ability.

Edward loves to draw, do martial arts and wants to be adopted by American family.
Gavin is very polite, loves music and McDonalds. H wants to ride the train to work when he is grown up.

Jeremy has advanced fine motor skills, prefers to play alone, is quiet and happy.

Henry likes to draw and listen to music and is good at playing the matching memory game.

Bo likes Chinese and PE classes in school, likes to play and write his name.

Peter is friendly, happy, good at the matching game and plays with others well.

Lilah is beautiful, likes to play with her foster sister, draw and do the shapes puzzle.

Warner has a great smile is very smart and articulate, enjoys reading English stories and music and said emphatically that he wants to be adopted. Where is the family that can make his dream come true?

Fabian said If he could have anything in the world it would be a family, parents to love and play with him and help him with school. He repeated this to someone else who visited him. He is  very responsive and loves basketball and soccer.

Michael is good at coloring, tracing and repeating words. He is cute and sweet.

CJ wants to be a teacher when he grows up and says he's a good boy so he can be adopted. Let's prove him right!

Thomas is bright, outgoing, happy, logical and wants to drive a big, red car. Wouldn't he fit in perfectly in America?
Harold likes to help other children and play badminton, enjoys music and singing, is sweet and sensitive and a shy boy.

These children want families to love and care for them and help them reach their potential. More than anything that seems to be the number one determination of whether adoptions are successful. These children are eligible for two adoptions at once or within a year, so if you would consider them please contact me right away, before their files have to be sent back: marcisk@asiadopt.org

Helpful Heather

Hello, my name is Heather. I am new to the world of sound and there is so much to discover! I love music and I am learning how to communicate verbally. I am learning the names of familiar objects and how to use my mouth to form words. I can take care of myself and like to help take care of my younger sisters and brothers. I like to play on the playground on the slide, the seesaw and ride a tricycle. I'm forming strong bonds with my nannies and teachers, but I really hope I can have a Mommy and Daddy to love and care for me and help me continue to learn about the world. I'm a determined girl and will surely make my Mommy and Daddy proud one day.

Hello! I'm Henry

Hello! My name is Henry. I'm almost 8 years old! I am a sweet, happy and well behaved boy. I take English class with Miss Heidi and I understand more English than I speak. I like to ride the slide and the seesaw on the playground. I also like to dance and listen to music. I was chosen for many special performances at the Hope Journey Camp, as you can see. Don't I look cute in my white suit and red hat? I want to be a police officer when I grow up and I really want a Mommy and Daddy. Please help me find my Mommy and Daddy! Lots of my friends are getting adopted and I need a forever family, too.