For the Love of Boys

Marci is off enjoying a nice vacation with her family and she asked me to post a few thoughts about adoption.

My name is Joy and I'm an adoptive mom of two lively boys, age 5 and 7, who were born in South Korea. A couple of days ago it was my eldest son's "Gotcha Day", so I've been thinking about those early days when we were working towards becoming parents. Since it was our first adoption, we told our social worker that we would accept either a boy or a girl. Like any new parent, the gender didn't matter...as long as it was healthy...although we couldn't say that either since we were adopting a child with special needs. But when that fateful day arrived with our son's referral information, we fell in love with him immediately! As we waited for our approval to travel, I proudly showed his referral picture around, decorated his new room in blue, bought cute boy-themed clothing and in general tried on my new role as "mom".

Fast forward a couple of years and we began yearning for a sibling. This time around, our social worker told us that if we wanted to request a girl, we could expect to wait a couple of years for a referral -- even for a girl with special needs. We decided that having a girl wasn't as important to us as having a sibling pair that was close in age. Plus, it seemed the right thing to do since there were so many boys available, and, besides, we already had all the equipment for raising another boy. A couple of months later, I ws scrolling through the Waiting Child list and zing! fell in love once again.

Even today people are surprised to learn that we actually chose to adopt a boy the second time around -- surely we would have preferred one of each? But this concept of somehow making our family "equal" wasn't a priority and having two boys was the perfect fit for us. I love the fact that they keep me active as I try to keep with their boundless energy. I love listening to their sounds of gratitude as they gobble up my homemade meals with their big appetites. And I also love seeing the world through their eyes every day. So looking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing...well, except maybe that I would have adopted sooner.

Fire Trucks and Superheroes - Part 3

The final thing that I will say about raising boys can be summed up in two words: loud and active. From the get-go, my in-laws nicknamed the boys "Crash" and "Bang". And for a year after we adopted the boys, whenever I spoke to my mom on the phone she would ask if everything was alright because of the ruckus she heard in the background. My boys seem to have the philosophy that if it must be said...best that it is said loudly! Plus, all the aforementioned fire trucks and superhero toys have their own noises too.

As for being "active", I am convinced that we could solve this country's energy crisis if we could somehow harness the energy of our young children. My boys are in constant motion and I've had to adapt my parenting style to keep up with them, or ideally, one step ahead of them. Long ago we got rid of our living room coffee table so there was more room to build race tracks, hold tickle fights or chase our cousins around the house. And don't forget the wrestling -- whether it's because they are bored, their dad has come home from work or one of their uncles has come over for dinner -- wrestling is a default activity with boys.

But, I've come to the conclusion that all this noise and commotion is a good thing. At times it has acted as a built-in safety feature, allowing me to keep track of where they are in the house or the yard. I can take action on any suspicious noises I hear -- such as running water -- or worse yet, no noise at all (which of course is when the real trouble is taking place). And just as important, it makes our house feel more like a home.

Don't forget...if you are ready to bring a little extra commotion into your house, we have some terrific boys in our Hope Journey program that would love to be a part of your family. Check them out!

Fire Trucks and Superheroes - Part 2

While fire trucks will always be cool, superheroes currently reign supreme in our house. TV-viewing, action figures, comic books, birthday parties and even the bed sheets must feature mythical characters with super-human abilities. A typical dinner conversation at our house goes like this: "Momma, who can fly faster...Superman or Spider Man? Who is stronger...the Hulk or Wolverine? Who is smarter...Batman or Iron Man?" And it's not just the most popular superheroes that they want to know about, they ask about the second-string characters as well (e.g., Ultraman, Richochet and the Jackel). Plus the villians...can't forget them. My youngest son is fascinated by anyone labeled a "bad guy" and wants to understand what makes them "bad" (we usually use them as examples how one can make the wrong choices in life). So much so that my husband and I are a little worried that we are raising the next evil genius!

Fortunately, my husband has proven to be an extraordinary resource in this stage of their childhood. While I was more interested in Barbie dolls and Disney movies growing up, my husband spent his childhood memorizing stats about Marvel characters. Even today, he can recall the most obscure details. It's one of the latest things that has made me appreciate what a great dad he is.

Since superheroes have universal appeal, I would highly recommend that any mom out there adopting a boy from our Hope Journey program brush up on their comic book reading It will make you seem like Wonder Woman!

Fire Trucks and Superheroes - Part 1

Hi! My name is Joy and I'm a colleague of Marci's. While she is taking some well-deserved vacation time, I will be your guest blogger.

A few years back my husband and I adopted 2 boys with special needs from Korea. With lots of love and great medical care, both of their medical conditions were resolved within 9 months of being home. Now they are a lively five- and seven-year old - similiar in age to many of the boys on our Hope's Journey program - so over the next couple of days I thought I would share some of the unexpected joys of raising boys.

From the moment we brought them home, our boys were fascinated by planes, trains and automobiles -- really anything with a motor and at least 2 wheels. Whether it was watching them, reading about them or playing with them, nothing could hold the attention of these wiggly boys like a book on construction vehicles or a ride on the local commuter train. At the Fourth of July parade every year, my kids are the ones cheering for the fancy sports cars, as well as the street sweeper. Even today, I often find them fast asleep in their beds with a Hot Wheels car or a book on monster trucks clutched in their hands. But what really gets their hearts a flutter are fire trucks. When the boys were younger, we lived down the street from a fire station. Oh! the look of joy on their faces whenever the ladder truck would go zooming by with their lights flashing and their sirens blasting. One summer, the fire department stopped by our block party with one of their engines and my boys were over the moon with excitement (and so were several of the adults, I noticed). In fact, our boys have us so trained to point out fire trucks while we are driving around town that the other night my husband and I caught ourselves shouting "fire truck" when there were no children in the car!

My boys have really opened my eyes to the wonders of the heavy equipment that's all around us. As a former girlie-girl, I admit that I never paid attention to the awesome power of a steam engine, or the cool technology contained within an emergency vehicle or the simple rythm of a front loader and dump truck working together at a construction site.