Thursday, December 16, 2010
For the Love of Boys
Marci is off enjoying a nice vacation with her family and she asked me to post a few thoughts about adoption.
My name is Joy and I'm an adoptive mom of two lively boys, age 5 and 7, who were born in South Korea. A couple of days ago it was my eldest son's "Gotcha Day", so I've been thinking about those early days when we were working towards becoming parents. Since it was our first adoption, we told our social worker that we would accept either a boy or a girl. Like any new parent, the gender didn't matter...as long as it was healthy...although we couldn't say that either since we were adopting a child with special needs. But when that fateful day arrived with our son's referral information, we fell in love with him immediately! As we waited for our approval to travel, I proudly showed his referral picture around, decorated his new room in blue, bought cute boy-themed clothing and in general tried on my new role as "mom".
Fast forward a couple of years and we began yearning for a sibling. This time around, our social worker told us that if we wanted to request a girl, we could expect to wait a couple of years for a referral -- even for a girl with special needs. We decided that having a girl wasn't as important to us as having a sibling pair that was close in age. Plus, it seemed the right thing to do since there were so many boys available, and, besides, we already had all the equipment for raising another boy. A couple of months later, I ws scrolling through the Waiting Child list and zing! fell in love once again.
Even today people are surprised to learn that we actually chose to adopt a boy the second time around -- surely we would have preferred one of each? But this concept of somehow making our family "equal" wasn't a priority and having two boys was the perfect fit for us. I love the fact that they keep me active as I try to keep with their boundless energy. I love listening to their sounds of gratitude as they gobble up my homemade meals with their big appetites. And I also love seeing the world through their eyes every day. So looking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing...well, except maybe that I would have adopted sooner.